Learning Disabilities can make home life difficult, put strain on relationships and have some families wondering what can they do to make life easier? Here are a few ways that learning disabilities can affect home life.
Four Ways Learning Disabilities Affect Home Life
If you have a child with a learning disability, you are probably learning that your child learns and reacts differently at home as well as in school. You will likely have to adapt your parenting strategies to your child’s neurology. If you have a diagnosis, then it is likely that you also have a neuro-psychological testing report. These reports and the IEP (individual education plan) include recommendations for instruction. Good test reports will also have recommendations for home. You can look at these recommendations and adapt them for home use. Here are a few that I run into in families I work with.
Slow Processing Speed
Your child is bright enough to do the work, but she thinks things through slowly. Think of having a computer with an old CPU. Often the IEP will recommend that a teacher provide “wait time” after asking a question. Parents need to do the same. If you patiently wait for your child’s response after a question, you can include her in family dinnertime conversations that she might otherwise be left out of. Processing speed can especially be a problem in tense situations. For instance, suppose you are asking about a missed homework assignment. Give her a minute to remember and give her response, instead of filling in for her.
Nonverbal Learning Disability
This is a disability that affects children’s ability to read social cues and to understand metaphor and sarcasm. They can be very sensitive to tone of voice, and their own modulation of tone of voice is poor. However, they can be taught these skills over time. It helps to understand that if your child responds angrily to a request, it might be because he thought you were angry. It is important to keep your voice neutral. Joking with this child is a tricky business. You will need to explain teasing because he won’t pick up from your tone of voice that you actually mean the opposite of what you are saying. Adding, “Just kidding,” can be essential.
Poor Working Memory
This is a problem that affects a person’s ability to keep a few ideas in mind in order to manipulate them or use them for problem solving. This could come up if you give your child complicated instructions. For instance you might say, “When you go upstairs to start your homework, check on the hamster food, and if we don’t have enough for the week, tell me so I can buy more.” This is a lot to keep in mind – go do homework; check on hamster food; and then what? You can have more success, and your child will feel more successful, if you break down the requests. Start with “Go check to see whether we have enough hamster food for a week, and tell me what you learn.” Then say, “Ok, now start your homework.”
Adjustments like these avoid misunderstandings that frustrate everyone.
Executive Function Deficits
This seems to be the diagnosis dejour in my caseload. If executive function is a problem for your child, you are probably already well aware of it. Your child loses and misplaces things related to school and everything else in life. It’s really frustrating for all. But scolding and shaming her for being disorganized doesn’t teach her strategies. I find it helpful to give kids like this lists for different situations. For instance, before going out the door in the morning, she could check off backpack, lunch bag, instrument for band, gym shoes. For going to soccer practice: cleats, socks, shin guards, ball. The same list applies for leaving soccer. Some kids are visual learners, and for them, a picture or drawing of themselves labeled with all the right equipment would be more useful.
These are just a few of the ways that learning difficulties affect home life. Learning about how your child thinks and learning strategies for managing life with a person with this brain will save you and your child a great deal of aggravation. Using accommodations at home can actually teach your child coping strategies for life. I know young adults who have learned to make their own lists so that they don’t travel without essentials.
By Dr Carolyn Stone
